9 Things All Moms Can Relate To
Being a mom is magical, wonderful, fulfilling... and seriously tough. Moms lose a lot of their identity because they morph from being a strong independent woman to someone who licks the fuzz off of suckers and cares for everyone but herself. Fortunately there is wine... and this article to make you say "Yes! Me too!"
1. As a mother, you do things you never thought you would have to
There are certain things about being a mother that are just downright gross, but no one else is going to do them. You’re used to picking your kid up and sniffing their butt for a dirty nappy, finding dishes with questionable fuzz growing on it, cleaning the toilet, and discovering where your baby left their sippy-cup of milk... last week.
It’s not just the gross things, as much the weird things you never expected to do. As a mother, you fulfil many roles; chauffeur, maid, pimple-popper, counsellor, chef, personal shopper, and so much more.
2. It really annoys you when people without kids complain
As a mom, you don’t want your childless friends complaining to you about how exhausted they are from staying up binge-watching Netflix while you’re exhausted from being up all night with Linda Blair. They might THINK that they are tired and stressed, but they have NO IDEA and you have no energy to be sympathetic.
You’d be happy if you could both agree that you are equally having a rough time and then skip to the part where you can drink your body-weight in wine after the kids have gone to bed. Except - oh! wait! - they can do that any time.
3. Your handbag is a multifunctional bottomless hole
Most women think it’s hard to find their keys now: just wait until your bag transforms into a portable baby kit. That’s before toddlers insist on having something, only to give it to YOU to hold. If you have a husband, just factor in HIS keys, phone, and wallet… although you may as well just hang onto that last one.
On the plus side, constantly carting around candy and snacks means you’ll have a ready supply of munchies on hand in case you work up an appetite.
4. You have the magic touch - apparently
Forget wizards, doctors, mechanics, politicians, teachers... no one has the power to solve any problem quite like Mom. Who do they want when they are sore? When something is broken? When they are scared, upset, or angry? You betcha. Your job is now to fix EVERYTHING. Who let you reproduce and accept this responsibility?! Don’t worry. What no one tells you is that you become infinitely wiser just for having a kid.
I’m kidding. Your IQ drops about twenty points, but the bright side is that you get to share in all of their best, wonderful, happy moments too!
5. You can hear a pin drop from miles away
Part German Shepherd and part superhero, moms can see and hear all. Much like losing one sense can strengthen the others, gaining a child will magically heighten the senses and transform regular humans into SuperMoms. The downside of this is that you will be forever suspicious of silence. You would think that we would enjoy peace and quiet when it finally comes about? Not a chance. It means the kids are plotting to burn the house down.
6. Sleep deprivation is not torture, it’s a way of life
You dream about the good old days when you were able to sleep in until 2 PM, stay in your pyjamas all day long, and watch movies all day – BM, ‘before motherhood’. Although you can still totally rock your pyjamas for an entire day, you definitely aren’t able to sleep in anymore. And you probably got used to that quickly after bringing your first child home from the hospital. No one has the time to sleep in when there’s a hungry baby crying to be fed.
The irony is that as your children get older, you’ll have increasingly more opportunities to go back to your sleeping-in schedule, but by the time your little ones reach puberty, you will be so used to not sleeping in that you won’t be able to anymore. You will discover that you have become your mother, doing nineteen chores before 8am.
7. Comfort trumps fashion
Comfy knickers are the signature fashion item of moms everywhere, along with good shoes. It’s sad, really, that closet full of thongs and stilettos, but you can’t risk the chafing and broken ankle running after a toddler for mere vanity. But after growing a human inside of you for 9 months, you deserve a little wiggle room.
8. Your moments alone are like holidays
Those granny panties aren’t going to buy themselves (and hell, you can’t ask anyone else to buy that tent FOR you). Moms might not have the time or energy to jet off on an actual vacation, but heading to the store for some solo shopping can definitely feel like one. Besides, when you’re that sleep deprived, who can even tell the difference between Woolies and a beach?
9. You would do anything for your kids
Despite all the important and tiring responsibilities a mother has, the rewards that come with motherhood are. It’s easy to get caught in the challenges and struggles of being a parent but don’t forget the incredible work of art you are doing: raising a human that YOU grew and teaching them to master the world.
A mother is really reminded of how amazing motherhood is when she sees her children achieve their big milestones – speak their first word, start kindergarten, graduate high school, graduate college, etc. The cycle of life is incredible and mesmerising, no matter how hard. So whenever you’re having a rough day, just remember how amazing your children are and that you are the one who made them that way!
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- Georgina Roberts